


Just Friends

by sodazzling



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodazzling/pseuds/sodazzling
Summary: “Maybe one day we can be friends again, we can go back to the way we used to be. Movie nights, eating fast food at ass o’clock in the morning, going to cafes to study until we burn out from exhaustion. Maybe one day we'll be able to go back to that, but today’s not that day.”Lucas can’t do anything else except stare after Jungwoo as he turns and walks away, most probably, out of his life.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Jungwoo, Mark Lee/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	Just Friends

They were five years old when Jungwoo and Lucas first met. Lucas and his family had just moved from Hong Kong to the apartment next to theirs. As good neighbours, his mom dragged him over to bring the new family a welcome snack. Jungwoo hid behind his mom as the door opened to show a lady and a wide-eyed boy that looked to be his age. The boy takes one look at him and smiles, Jungwoo wonders how his face doesn’t crack with how wide his smile is. He gets asked to play by the smiley boy and that’s how it starts.

They were inseparable in elementary and middle school. Always together, you’d never find one without the other following closely behind. Jungwoo was on the shyer side but something about Lucas brought him out of his shell. Often when one of them got in trouble the other joined in a show of, what they called, best friend solidarity.

It was in high school where Lucas really blossomed. He was tall, handsome, athletic and boisterous. All those traits became a magnet and people always gathered when Lucas was around. When Lucas joined the volleyball team he found a new friend in Mark that seemed to mesh perfectly with Jungwoo and himself. Doyoung followed closely after, an upperclassman that found Jungwoo alone on one of the days that Lucas had practice and he was waiting for him to finish, becoming fast friends (and a doting motherlike figure).

In Jungwoo’s second year into high school, Doyoung realised there were interactions between Lucas and Jungwoo that seemed too intimate, like he was intruding on something. Looks that seemed too affectionate, and touches that lingered longer than what should have been appropriate. But Lucas took it in stride, chalked it up to his childhood friend being someone that enjoyed a lot of skinship. Jungwoo, however, looked like Lucas hung the stars and was the sun that his earth revolved around. Granted if you weren’t looking you wouldn’t see it, but he was. Doyoung was looking.

On one of the study days where Lucas and Mark had practise, Doyoung and Jungwoo were in a nearby café reading their notes while waiting for their friends, was when he brought it up.

“Jungwoo, do you…” he started carefully, “like Lucas?”

He looked like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and panic settling in every bone of his body. A secret he held so dear to himself, exposed in a single question.

“Hyung, of course I like Lucas. We’re best friends!” He tries for nonchalance but fails miserably at his attempt and Doyoung looks at him with nothing but love and reassurance.

“It’s okay Jungwoo, I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want people to know. I just wanted to tell you that I’m here if you need anyone to talk to.” He doesn’t expect the younger to tear up. Even more so, Jungwoo never expected to find another permanent fixture in his life that wasn’t Lucas.

Jungwoo is crying and nobody in their friend group likes seeing him cry. It’s akin to watching a puppy getting kicked, a lot of whimpers and it takes a lot of doting for him to get out of it. But this time Mark and Lucas are laughing because Doyoung is graduating and leaving the three of them behind for a year until they can catch up and meet him in university. The eldest of the group is babying and mothering Jungwoo while the other two are laughing on the side lines. He promises them that it’ll only be a year and he’ll be waiting for them when it’s their turn to graduate.

A year later when it actually is their turn to graduate, Doyoung stands proudly in the audience hands full with flowers for all three of his friends and the brightest smile on his face as he watches them walk across the stage in their gowns to get their diplomas. And when each of them comes off the stage, they run right into the willing arms of their university best friend all smiles with promises of more fun next year when they all attend the same university.

In university it’s like nothing has changed, all four of them are together again and they spend even more time with each other. They have movie nights every Friday, they always study together until the wee hours of the morning when they have assignments due or exams the next day.

Except something does change and Doyoung is the first to pick up on it. The small whispers Lucas and Mark exchange, the touches they share when they think no one is looking. Doyoung can feel something claw up his throat when he looks at Jungwoo and sees that he is oblivious to his other two friends. He doesn’t know what to do but he knows it’s not his place to say anything. He steels his heart for the storm that will eventually come and he only hopes that it won’t ravage the relationship that the four of them have built.

Jungwoo only finds out this change one morning when he makes his way to Lucas’ apartment, coffee in hand for both of them, and finds Mark already there in the kitchen. What surprises him is not that Mark is there, but that he is wearing a shirt that looks like it’s far too large on him and a shirt that Jungwoo knows belongs to Lucas because they bought it together last week when they had gone shopping.

He feels something ugly trying to claw its way out of his body as he takes in Mark’s appearance. Something inside him breaks however when Lucas comes out of his room shirtless, half awake and clinging on to Mark. Jungwoo finds that he can’t really breathe. Only when Mark whispers something to Lucas does he find himself looking at his best friend with as much surprise as can show when you’re half awake.

“Jungwoo? What are you doing here?”

“I brought coffee for you,” he wills his voice to come out calm and not break. He can feel his heart break piece by piece and he wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole so he wouldn’t have to witness something so intimate. Something he had wanted for himself but now belonged to Mark. “But it looks like I’m intruding on something. I’ll just leave your coffee here and, uh, I’ll see you guys later.”

“Intruding? Jungwoo what-”

But before he can continue the other had already made his way out of the apartment in a rush. The remaining two look at each other in panic at their friend’s odd behaviour and promise to figure out what happened to Jungwoo.

Doyoung doesn’t expect to find Jungwoo knocking at the entrance of his apartment so early in the morning. But when he opens it and finds Jungwoo crying, he doesn’t hesitate to shake off any sleepiness left in his body to pull the younger into a bone-crushing hug. He shuts the door and pulls the other into the apartment to settle him onto the couch when he hears his phone notification go off. When he sees messages from both Lucas and Mark he feels his stomach drops as he realises why Jungwoo has come to him in this state.

The storm has come and it looks like it will only be getting worse.

A couple days later Jungwoo and Mark meet for lunch on one of the campus cafes. It’s quaint and homey and filled with other students. When they manage to find seats for themselves Mark finally sees Jungwoo. He looks exhausted, eyes red and dark circles large enough that they start to settle on his cheeks. He looks at Jungwoo and he suddenly understands. He knows why the other man looks so sad nowadays because the expression he wears is one Mark used to wear himself.

“Jungwoo,” he begins uncertainly, “are you in love with Lucas?” The sharp intake of breath is the only response he needs to confirm his suspicions.

Jungwoo avoids all eye contact with Mark and just stares at the coffee in his hand, contemplating on how to answer. Because how do answer a question like that to the boyfriend of the person that you love. So, he goes with the truth.

“I don’t know how to answer that without sounding like the worst friend in the world.” He replies with a humourless laugh. “But yes, I am.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jungwoo expects anger, betrayal and hurt. What he doesn’t expect is an apology from Mark because what is he apologising for? For falling in love with Lucas? That’s not something he can fault him for because he did the exact same thing. If anything, he should be the one apologising to Mark not the other way around.

“What are you sorry for?”

“I don’t know, but it seemed like the most appropriate thing to say.” Mark looks lost and out of his depth. He doesn’t know what to do so he can keep both his boyfriend and one of his best friends.

“I don’t want you to be sorry to me because that’ll make me feel even shittier than I already do. You didn’t do anything wrong, that’s all on me. Because I’m happy for the two of you, I really am. But this is something I’ve held on to for a really long time and I don’t know how to be happy for myself at the moment.” Jungwoo confesses, his arms wrapping around himself as if to protect and shield himself.

“Do you want me to break up with him?”

“Am I such a terrible person that you’d ask that of me?” The instant recoil that hit Jungwoo when Mark posed that question to him was enough to find that deep down, he didn’t want that for them.

“I just,” Mark is trying to formulate ways to save their friendship, he knows he’s grasping at straws but he can’t find another way out. “I don’t want this to tear us apart.”

“If you did that for me, you cannot imagine the guilt that would eat me up from the inside knowing that I was the reason two of my best friends in the whole world broke up. I’ll figure it out Mark, I just need some time to myself.”

Mark nods as he watches Jungwoo get up and walk away, and he can’t help shake the feeling that maybe that was the last time he would ever get to talk to Jungwoo. He feels his tears spill over and he knows nothing will be the same ever again.

Two weeks pass before Lucas realises that Jungwoo is avoiding him. He doesn’t see him around the campus anymore and he’s stopped coming to their shared study groups and movie nights. He questions Doyoung about it and just gets a shrug in reply saying that Jungwoo is busy with assignments. Lucas doesn’t believe him. When he asks his boyfriend, Mark, about it he gets a sort of sad shake of his head before he replies with an _I don’t know_.

On the third week, when both Doyoung and Jungwoo don’t show up for movie night, he realises he’s had enough and makes his way to Jungwoo’s apartment. What he doesn’t expect is for Doyoung to open the door.

“Is Jungwoo home?” Lucas notices that Doyoung doesn’t invite him in and positions himself in the doorway in a way that Lucas wouldn’t be able to see inside.

“He’s not feeling well.” He replies.

“Then can I wait inside? I just want to talk to him.”

“He just fell asleep, I’ll let him know you came around.” Doyoung’s voice comes out hard as steel, no room for argument. But Lucas is desperate, he doesn’t know why his childhood best friend is suddenly avoiding him and it must show on his face because Doyoung’s expression softens. “Go home Lucas, I’ll try to get him to call you.”

Lucas nods at that and turns to go home. It’s only when he reaches home and he’s lying in his bed did he realise Doyoung said he’d _try_ to get Jungwoo to call him. Jungwoo is actively cutting off all contact with him and he finds he really doesn’t know what happened between them and he really just wants to hang out with his best friend again.

A month into the no contact between the two, Lucas spots Jungwoo at a party talking to someone, is when he realises he’s absolutely livid at his childhood best friend. He doesn’t know why he’s being ignored and why he’s being avoided but he resolves to get answers when he marches his way to the other. Jungwoo doesn’t see him until he has his fingers wrapped around his wrist and is pulling him outside.

“Lucas! What are you doing? Let me go!” Jungwoo manages to squeak out as he struggles against the force his friend is applying onto his wrist. “It hurts!”

Lucas let’s go when they’re far enough away from the party where the loud noises won’t interrupt and nobody can accidentally overhear them.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“Lucas, I’m not-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence! I know that you’re avoiding me, and I want to know why!” When Jungwoo remains silent, staring at the ground. Lucas lets out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding in. “I just, can we talk?”

The expression Lucas is wearing doesn’t do anything good for Jungwoo’s heart because he looks like the world is crumbling around him and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. But Jungwoo’s own world is breaking apart and he’s just trying to glue the pieces back together.

“No, we can’t. I’m not ready to talk to you.”

Lucas lets out a huff of frustration at that. “Why do you need to be ready? What did I do wrong? Talk to me please!” He’s virtually begging at this point. But Lucas wasn’t ready for whatever came next because his best friend that should be all smiles looks like the most broken person he’s ever seen.

“I’m in love with you Lucas.” He manages to whisper out. “I have been for a long time and seeing you together like that with Mark was too much for me.” It must be the weight that lifts off his shoulders after the confession that makes him continue. “And don’t think I’m not happy for you guys because I am. I see two of my best friends in the world finding their happiness and who am I to take anything away from that? I don’t want to feel this way, believe me, but I don’t know any other way to deal with this. I just, need to be away from us, away from the both of you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungwoo barely hears the whispered reply. His heart breaks even more because he knows he caused it but he can’t do anything about it. Lucas is too stunned to say anything else as he digests everything Jungwoo is saying.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he replies sadly. “I’m the one that’s sorry that I couldn’t be the better person right now. Maybe one day we can be friends again. Maybe one day we can go back to the way we used to be. Movie nights, eating fast food at ass o’clock in the morning, going to cafes to study until we burn out from exhaustion. Maybe one day we can go back to that, but today’s not that day.”

And because Jungwoo doesn’t want to make Lucas feel worse than he knows he already feels, he smiles. He tries to give him the brightest smile he can muster because he won’t give him a crying image of himself, not like this, not in this situation. Lucas sees through it all, best friends always do, but he can’t do anything else except stare at Jungwoo as he turns and walks away, most probably, out of his life.

As Lucas watches him go he collapses on the ground devastated, his legs without the strength to hold him up. It takes a while for him to realise that his phone his vibrating in his pocket and he answers it on autopilot. When he realises it’s Mark on the other end of the line he just breaks down and sobs.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic here so comments and feedback are much appreciated!


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